There were these two tall buildings for a long time and one day they disappeared creating a turning point in World history. Katie came to New York from Portland, Oregon to help out with the World Trade Center disaster recovery. She was my boss and later a good friend. We came to know each other well, as we worked for and believed in the same cause. Later on, I came to call her my ‘White Mother’ for the reason that she joked about adopting me as her son.
Thanksgiving is celebrated big in America. It’s the largest travel day of the year. Everyone tries to make it home and celebrate it with family-having a jolly good time. The history of American Thanksgiving is dated very old. It starts from the initial settlers who came to America in pursuit of both civil and religious liberty.
There are many versions of stories that are told about the beginning of Thanksgiving Day. The mainstreams think that the pilgrims from Plymouth, England who landed in Massachusetts, USA in late November 1620 were the beginners of this festivity. The Pilgrims held a 3 day celebration to thank God for the bountiful harvest they had that year. As part of the celebration they also invited the local Red Indians who had helped with the harvest, to join the feast. Like many stories there is also a variation which remarks a tragic end of the Red Indian civilization in that area as they were driven away by the new comers.
In November 2002 I was still a fresher in USA, who had no family or relatives to celebrate Thanksgiving with. Katie found out that I had no plans for Thanksgiving and asked me if I would care to join her family for Thanksgiving at her parents’ house in Richmond, Virginia. I recollect that I used to miss my family most, not during hardships but at times of festivals and celebrations. In Kerala, India where I am originally from, we too have a harvest festival called Onam. It is about the great king Mahabali who loved his countrymen but was banished from his country as he became more famous than the King of heavens. People celebrate Onam so as to welcome this king who was granted his final wish to visit his country for one day every year after harvest.
Officially America celebrated its first Thanksgiving Day on the first Thursday in November in 1789 under the Presidency of George Washington. During that period, it was mostly a state wide celebration. Later in 1863, Abraham Lincoln declared it a National Day of Thanksgiving but changing it from the first Thursday to the last Thursday of November. It was finally in 1941, American Congress permanently established the fourth Thursday of November as a National holiday.
Going through my memoirs dated back in 2002, I should say I was anxious about my travel to the south of America past Washington DC. I had heard from people that the South was much different from the North. Virginia is the state just below Washington DC and was the capital of the Confederates during the American Civil War. I was also concerned about a new issue that was burning during those times called the concern of National Security. There was still a genuine fear of being misunderstood as no one knew how much low one can go to protect what they think was right. I didn’t let any of that kill my spirit of having a good time and possibly a unique experience in life.
My first trip to Richmond, Virginia was to celebrate Thanksgiving. I would say my second trip to Virginia was again to celebrate Thanksgiving. I believe my third and fourth trips to Virginia were yet again to celebrate Thanksgiving at Katie’s. It says some thing about me and them. I guess I liked them as much as they liked me. I sure shared a different flavor to their usual friend circle. In return, I gained the understanding of a new lifestyle and mannerism than the one I was used to. Beyond that, we all had so much life and fun shooting pools, playing bingo, eating turkey and drinking wine. At times, I just feel lucky and try to believe that as long as good lives inside any person he will be loved by others. May be it is just because people love virtues more than faces.
Life in Richmond is gentle and more relaxed than crazy New York. People do take time to wish you ‘Good Morning’ in the streets unlike New York where they walk on your foot. At one of our Thanksgiving dinner a topic popped up about the rudeness and bizarreness of Manhattan, New York.
Whatever complaints I may say about New York, I still think it is the greatest City I have ever lived. May be it is because I spent the best of my youth in there or could be that the City is for the young who could party up to 4 in the morning and be to work at eight. Don’t know how I did it, but I sure had a taste of that too in my mid twenties.
Quite recently I was going though my photo album. I had to pause for a second to actually tear through my gibberish brain to feel how different those days were. In the older ones, I looked so young and vibrant, thrilled and excited about everything that life has to bring. From the recent pictures, I saw a young generation sprouting and the older ones trying to keep up with time. I have lived and traveled many places, established many acquaintances, ran through many familiar faces at different places. But time spent at Katie’s was very unique and the bond with that family is unforgettable. For that same reason I decided to write this out for the world to read and be saved for times unknown.
The main focus of Thanksgiving Day is the Thanksgiving dinner itself. The South which is an old expression during the Civil War for states that were a part of the confederates, is generally famous for its food and hospitality. Their grits and biscuits are so delicious and beyond par. But Thanksgiving Day is the day of the turkey. The feast is made with roasted turkey as the center piece of the meal. A typical home made Thanksgiving dinner has roasted turkey and gravy, corn pudding, vegetables, Biscuits [different from the ones I was used to in India], salads, different kind of pies like pumpkin pie, apple pie, pecan pies and finally top it with a glass of wine preferably a chardonnay.
I remember sharing my views with friends at the Thanksgiving dinner table that one can live a life worth two lives in New York as the City never sleeps.
It was followed by a question from a friend of mine whether I would like to live my whole life in New York. I then strongly believed that I will never ever leave New York for anything. Like many other times, the ‘never’ term never worked and the charm of New York lasted only until I was single. The beautiful memories of New York always outweighed the happiness it took out of me. I still root for Yankees baseball team and I am the greatest fan of the beautiful Statue of Liberty. I think if anyone has a choice of where to live their twenties, they should opt for New York for the rich and compressed experience that this City gives you. I didn’t know Frank Sinatra or his song when I boarded my flight for the first time from India to New York, else I would have sung ‘Start spreading the news .... I’m leaving today ... want to be a part of it New York, New York ‘.
The first time I traveled to Richmond was in the Amtrak train from Pen station [NY] to Richmond station [VA] passing Trenton [NJ], Philadelphia [PA] and union station Washington DC. I had the tickets reserved well in advance as everyone knew it was going be packed and full. I usually prefer to travel at night and be at my destination bright and early. Katie and her husband were there to receive me and they took me to her parent’s house. Katie’s parents had mastered to be the perfect host and hostess in entertaining people from all walks of life. I had a room picked which had a single bed and a beautiful view to the museum across the road. I usually stayed in that room every visit except for the last one when I had company.
As an attribute of being a perfect host, one should have a plan on how to entertain people of various tastes. I always had interesting and long conversations with Katie’s parents as I tried to gain whatever wisdom they can share. I am mostly an outdoor person except when I am soaked in a couch with some interesting movie on TV. We did many interesting things during my stay at different occasions in their house other than the big turkey meal and the amazing discussions and games that followed. Nothing other than mob psychology can explain why we all went and did Inner tubing in the famous James River when the water was cold even to stick our legs in. It got even funnier when we all walked into a nearby Starbucks coffee shop in our bathrobes shivering.
If you ask Katie’s mother, where the center of universe is - she might say it is right there in Virginia. There are many reasons for her belief as she says that Virginia played a very important role in what America is today. One of the earliest settlements in America was along the same James River where we went inner tubing. Richmond was one of the sparking points that lead to the American War of Independence. It was the Capital of the Confederates during the American Civil War. There is a lot a history embedded in the state of Virginia.
Out of the many strange things we did I could say going to the grave of Jefferson Davis-the only Confederated President of America was a different experience. I have praised the bravery of Stonewall Jackson and the dignity of the most celebrated Confederates General Robert E. Lee even though we shared a different view point on why the American Civil War was won by the North and not by the South. My view was that victory had no other choice than to side the men who fought for the paramount human virtue - Freedom.
I like to tell you all an incident that inspired me to believe in the core value of liberty. It was seeing the reenactment of Patrick Henry speech that kindled the spark in Americans to raise arms against the oppressive rule of the British. I remember myself wearing the 17th century fashion three cornered hat and standing at one of the doorways of St Johns Church where Patrick Henry addressed Virginia House of Burgesses on March 23, 1775. It was that speech where he concluded saying ‘Give me liberty or give me death’. The passion in those words were so remarkable that I stood there just feeling numb for couple of seconds and then the sudden gush of blood through my cerebral arteries threw me into a state of insanity for a moment.
Another interesting thing that I always welcomed doing was waking up at five in the morning and driving to the nearby Mall for the day after Thanksgiving Day sale. During a different occasion, I remember driving with Katie alongside the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Appalachian Trail to her parents’ house for Thanksgiving singing …. Two bottle pop …pop … one bottle pop ….pop …. We stopped and visited the natural bridge in Virginia a natural wonder of the world during our trip back.
Some other very diverse and fascinating things that I was part of during my stay with them were our visit to the Colonial Williamsburg which is a living History Museum that mimics the life in America during the 18th century. At another time, we all went and watched movies in the rustic old Byrd Theater where it costs only one dollar and ninety-nine cents per ticket. Couple of the notable things in that theater was its magnificent chandelier hanging from its raised ceiling and the grand piano in the alcove that is connected to and played by the organist.
I have gone and spent time alone in the long corridors of Virginia Museum and the Museum of Confederacy seeing paintings and artifacts. We have done leisure shopping at Cary Street trying to find some fascinating booty’s. Among all things we did together, we were still able to hold on to our own individuality and also at a comprehensive way shared many common thoughts. We shared stories of our upbringings and struggles. We shared thoughts on world concerns and how people use hatred against others as a platform to submerge their differences. We understood that the differences in humans are here to stay and tolerance with mutual trust is the only exit to a good way of living.
I had tried with all my heart to be a world citizen, to appreciate everyone’s perspective, accept everyone’s beliefs with equal respect and still strongly hold on to the one I was nourished with. There are times I contradict on the things that I write but justifies myself the action with the fact that our experiences are an ever changing stream with each one so unique that none should be lost in this world for anything. I have presented Katie’s family with many gifts so did they for me. But most memorable and touching of all things that they have done for me was that - Every time I took the train back to New York they would pack me a lunch bag which for sure had my favorite biscuits in it. That is what I think is- appreciation, care and love.
|